Never hook-up with other men who have raised, or who are raising, entitled adult children. If he lets them abuse him financially, he will let them abuse you as well. On a personal note, I had to tell my husband that I cannot be around a certain set of family members who have tried to take advantage of us financially. He finally agreed with me and cut off all communication with the abusive relative s. Thank God! I am 23 years old and I currently receive ssi, and I help my parents with rent out of that. I suffer from depression. I dont consider myself a loser, I attend online college. I think that was quite harsh of you to say their losers.
After all who are you to judge? That obviously cannot be helped. I took this more as able-bodied people who depend on their parents when they have more than enough opportunities to be independent. I was raised in a family in which all of were expected to become doctors. After reading plenty of articles like this I have realized that I have to admit where I have gone wrong and how I have allowed my parents to enable me.
I think people have many reasons for enabling their children.. I am totally humbled.. I am also the one who has realised how spoilt I have been throughout these 23 years. I love my parents the most but they say I hurt them too. I realize they are right. They have supported an expensive education for me to which I could not commit justice completely. You sound like a spoiled brat to me. My wealthy family never gave many handouts to me.
I’m still paying off child support arrears for my adult child. When will it stop?
In fact, they wanted me to work for the things I wanted. They did give me a very old car that barely ran well to get to college, but it did the job. If I wanted a luxury car, I had to pay for it myself. And when I left home, at age 21, I got jobs where I had to ride a bike or take two buses to get to. When I saved up enough money, I purchased my first luxury car. Between the ages of 21 I had to take the bus or ride a bike to work, love, and my family is very wealthy.
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I am so glad that they taught me how to be financially independent and cultivate a solid work ethic leads to financial independence. That life lesson is priceless. So who payed for your education? Your parents love you and have supported you too much! Im not buying it! How did you ever graduate? Your duty to yourself and your parents is to stop making excuses, get a job, and stand on your own two feet. Take the knowledge that you have gained and apply yourself! We are all a little afraid but we make it happen!
I left home, age 16, lived independently while attending high school, found it a bit difficult, so I moved in with my grandparents, at age 17, right before I graduated. First thing they told me was that I had to get a job while in high school. I did have a job when I was living on my own in 11th grade, so I had no problem with the transition.
When I graduated high school, not only did I have to hold down a job, I had to go to college and pay my very wealthy grandparents rent. I had to pay them rent when I turned 18, get my own phone line we only had land lines then , clothes, credit cards, etc. They did pay for my college I mean they were loaded! However, I had to pay for everything else myself. No way was my family going to hand me over a credit card, clothes, phone line etc. And if I was living with them today, I would have had to pay for my own cell phone and whatever other expenditures I may have incurred.
I came from a very well to do family. In fact, they just told me how to obtain my own credit card, without their help. By age 19, I had my own credit card, and only I was responsible to pay it back. All I can say is, by the time I turned 21, they told me to leave. They said I was old enough to make it on my own. Surprisingly, they gave me all the rent money back. I had no idea they were going to do that. They just wanted me to get a taste of the real world.
At first resented it all, but looking back, I am so glad they taught me a bit of tough love. I would hate to end up like the spoiled brats out there that feel entitled to everything.
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There is nothing like being financially independent because you have your freedom to do whatever you want. When you are financially dependent upon others, you open yourself up to manipulation. I am so impressed with most of the comments made here. I was beginning to think that this entire generation was lost.
Your posts have given me new hope. They invaded our privacy including our finances and decided we could afford to give them more. One son lived in multiple cities and seemed to think we should pay his rent in an extravagant apartment while we lived in a poor, rural town. Granted our financial situation had improved significantly since we no longer had to pay alimony and child support but we did not feel we should pay for his extravagant lifestyle choices. He was an MD at the time with a housing allowance. Another child had a degree but wanted to pursue an acting career in comfort I guess at our expense.
They are intelligent, capable people with a pathologic sense of entitlement. They secretly planted cameras and microphones in and around our home and proceeded to record and stream our privacy to the internet. They apparently wanted to embarrass us for not paying for their lavish life style choices. We helped them with college tuition at over priced universities that they chose without consulting us. They seemed think that the student loans they took out for their over priced education was our debt to pay.
They never discussed with us such choices. We assumed we were helping them, not supporting them as they were no longer minor children. Maybe the law should be changed if the consensus is that parents should pay for their children to attend college. We did nothing illegal but have been treated as such because of this situation.
We will never know if they would have betrayed us as they did if we would have given them all that they demanded. But it seems that people who are so profoundly entitled and capable of these sort of criminal acts could never have enough. It is refreshing to know that there are independent, well adjusted young adults out there. Thank You so much! You should see if the statute of limitations is up on them streaming you on the internet without your consent.
Maybe a little jail time would break into their selfish reality. I have paid my own bills, made my own mistakes and had my own experiences such as vacations, buying vehicles, dealing with ups and downs of life etc. In reality they are usually venomous and bitter people, jealous of anyone who succeeds on their own steam and will try to use their fake persona to bring them down. They have no drive and are weak minded.
It makes us lose brain cells. I did not want to be a burden to my family and was extremely embarrassed, so I joined the military. It was the best thing for me. I learned alot about myself and was able to really help people, learned to be giving of my time and myself. I have always wanted to be independent, in stark contrast to my brother who had everything handed to him. Not by our parents, but everyone else who did not understand parenting styles.
People would give him guitars, cars, places to live since they thought our parents were too harsh. There are plenty of us who put ourselves through school while working, pay for our own food, clothes, books, transportation, student loans etc with not a dime handed to us from anyone. Not a dime. THAT is what it means to be fully self sufficient. You just simply have it way way easier. Tell me what job a 18 year old gets while going to school fulltime and makes that type of money after they max out their in Fed student loans for the year?
I am a month from being I was 24 with an almost 1 year old daughter before I finally moved out on my own. I now pay for everything I own, apartment, car, insurance, bills, etc. No help.
When I was 20 I was working less than 10 hours a week using the money I made for entertainment while my parents handled everything else. I regret living under them like that, and it has crippled me. All it does is hurt the children. Nothing good comes from hindering your child in such a way. My partner has 3 children.
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The eldest lives on his own and is completely independent. The other two, her 26 year old son and 29 year old daughter live at home and do not contribute financially to the household nor do they help to maintain the home. They do not work and will not go out looking for a job unless it is something that mother has found for them through her connections and even then it is always only a short term temporary job.
I cannot stand to be around her children anymore as they are unmotivated, lazy assholes. So I will take her suggestion and go. Unfortunately I am in a situation where my widowed father does entirely too much for my 23 year old ungrateful son. Clean your room, and you can drive!!! Some adult kids appreciate the help given, others like mine do not. He will be a user until the day my father passes on. My wife is 60 years old with no retirement pension, Im 70 years old and work 75 hours per week.
Yes my step daughter has a job finally who knows how long that will last. She is a real loser for asking her mother for the loan cause she will never make it on her own or ever pay it back. When I asked her who needs the money more you or your mother she said she does. Thats just a losers answer cause she lived in her mothers apartment that she was suppose to pay She is disrespectful and thinks her mother owes this to her for all the problems she brought upon herself, including high credit card balance etc.
Sad isnt it. I literally wore hand-me down pants from my grandfather. They were afraid to let me do anything, even letting me get a job. Looking back I feel stupid for being stuck in that reliant relationship towards them for so long. At 26 I finally woke up, rebelled and left and am building my own debt free life. I am surely a worst-case-scenario example. Be civil and co-parent. If you made the child together it's both your job to raise the child.
Of course, every blended family's situation is different—and some will have a much harder time with co-parenting than others—but we love this particular dynamic so much. And we're not the only ones: The image and message are going viral, with parents everywhere praising this blended family's ability to embrace one another. Madison isn't the only mom out there who has mastered co-parenting, but we are incredibly impressed by her outlook all the same. When Brenda Wetmore Giffen's adult daughter asked her if she could remake her wedding dress into a play tent for her daughter, the grandmother was not sure if it could be done.
But Grandma came through and the stunning results have gone viral. Giffen posted her creation on Facebook six months ago, but the internet has been very excited about it this week, giving the story a second life, just like the wedding dress. As Giffen explains in her Facebook post, her daughter asked her if she could make a play tent, memory pillow, and maybe a garter and a tutu for the grandkids as an alternative to just storing the wedding dress.
But once this grandmother got into the project she found herself loving the challenge and trying to figure out how many new items she could craft from one dress. I made two garters so that each granddaughter will have her own. It's not very likely that I'll be there for their weddings, but I hope they will give Grammy Giffen a thought on that day. I still have enough fabric and tulle to make a tutu for Elena's baby sister who is due in August.
Jim helped with the engineering. We designed and he built stabilizers for the top and bottom of the tent, so it doesn't collapse on the girls while they are playing. It's been challenging, a little scary, lots of fun, and probably the major creative project of my lifetime! With all the attention this post has been getting Giffen added a note to her wedding dress story: She is now creating memory pillows and other keepsakes for other brides through her website.
Think back to when you were a kid. Chances are, you struggled to find a doll that really made you feel like you were accurately represented. Maybe all the toys on the shelf had a different body type than yours, or maybe they were all of a certain skin tone, one that didn't resemble your own. Or maybe you had a challenge of some sort, one that wasn't represented by the dolls you were seeing.
Sure, we've come a long way since then: Toy manufacturers are finally realizing how important it is to represent diversity and inclusion in their products A California teacher understands this, and she recently stepped up to do something to make her students feel seen. Genesis Politron works with hearing-impaired children, and she realized that while many of her students wear hearing devices, there were no dolls on the market that represented this. So Genesis did something incredible: She decided to create dolls that her students could see themselves in Genesis added cochlear implants and hearing aids to existing dolls so her children could see accurate representations of themselves in the toys.
The dolls aren't just inclusive, they're also beautiful: Genesis used glitter and puff paint to increase the fun factor. Genesis tweeted about the dolls and, not surprisingly, her post has gone viral. I wish everyone could see their faces playing with these," she writes. I wanted my students to have the same opportunity, and to be represented in the toys that they play with," Genesis tells CNN of her decision to create these dolls. I wanted to allow my students to see themselves in toys for once, to feel accepted. The teacher also explains that her children tend to gravitate to the dolls that best reflect their own identities : The students with cochlear implants reach for the dolls with the same device, while those who use hearing aids play with the dolls with hearing aids.
As parents, all we can hope for when we send our children out in the world is that someone like Genesis will touch their lives and make them feel special. This wonderful teachers' students are so lucky to have someone like her. Jessica D'Entremont got 15 minutes of fame this month after her trick for getting a few minutes of quiet time before bedtime went viral. As she told Today, she came up with an innovative way to transition her daughters, Emma, 4, and Hannelore, 3, from playtime to bedtime. Tell them they have to lie really still under the light to 'charge' them She first pulled this "trick" on a day she knew her kids were super amped up and were going to have a hard time with the transition.
They loved it and thought it was great fun because they aren't quite old enough to grasp that we could see them due to the glow, even though they couldn't see their dad and I in the dark. Coffee is a wonderful thing. So are naps. But, ever wonder what would happen if you combined the two? A group of researchers in Japan did just that and found that coffee naps were more effective at combating daytime sleepiness than non-caffeine naps.
Basically, when you combine coffee and a nap—you drink a cup and then get quick shut-eye— you can complete the first two stages of the sleep cycle in the same amount of time it takes for caffeine to be absorbed by your body. The caffeine acts as a natural alarm, waking you up refreshed with more clarity and energy, ready to focus on the next activity.
That afternoon slump you feel? It's real. Your blood sugar and energy start to dip after lunchtime. So does your core body temperature, triggering the release of the sleep-inducing hormone, melatonin. This is part of your body's circadian rhythm that responds to environmental cues, like daytime and nighttime, and tells your body to feel sleepy or alert. The National Sleep Foundation says the optimal time for most people to nap is five hours after waking up. So, if you rise at 7am, your ideal nap time is 1pm yep, right after lunch.
When you're awake, the neurons in your brain produce adenosine , a byproduct of brain activity that is constantly monitored by your nervous system. When high enough levels are reached, adenosine plugs into receptors to make you feel tired. Caffeine is chemically similar to this compound and fits into the receptors that are normally filled by the adenosine, effectively blocking them and tricking your body into thinking that it's not yet time for sleep. A sleep cycle is comprised of four stages and takes about 90 minutes to complete, making that the perfect amount of time for a nap.
But when you're a busy parent, it's hard to carve out uninterrupted time for that long. The good news is that the first two stages of sleep are short, light and only take about 20 minutes to complete, so if you can squeeze in 20 minutes of sleep, you'll complete the first two stages of the cycle without falling into the last two, more intense ones. Need more proof? A study from NASA found that a minute snooze enhances motor skills and attention. In the study, researchers found that long-distance pilots who napped for Of course, naps and caffeine late in the afternoon can have a negative effect on your actual nighttime sleep by delaying the onset of sleep or disrupting sleep regulation , when you transition between sleep and wakefulness.
In general, caffeine lasts about hours in the body before wearing off.
And it is worth noting that caffeine can affect different people in different ways so it's important to know how it affects you personally. For women taking birth control pills or those between ovulation and the beginning of menstruation , it may take twice as long to process the caffeine. Additionally, though many studies have listed the benefits of napping for mama and baby, combining one with a cup of coffee might not be advised so be sure to speak with your doctor if you're pregnant. Bottom line: Sometimes multitasking has its benefits.
Since naps reenergize you and caffeine helps you stay awake, combining them for 20 minutes of self-care can give you the boost you need to make it through the rest of your day. Chances are, you have at least one Apple product in your household. But, those iPhones for parents and iPads for the kids come at a cost, especially if you're in the market for the latest models. And we know it's tough to keep up with new editions of products launching so frequently.
We've got good news, though. Amazon is having a sale across a few of Apple's newly launched products. Our editors are already shopping for holiday so we're using this as an excuse to get a jumpstart on our technology wishlist because, ahem, it's quite long. Complete with Wi-Fi, GB and a It also has a high-quality HD camera perfect for Facetiming Grandma and Grandpa and touch ID fingerprint sensor so the kiddos won't fight over which iPad is theirs.
With more than 3, and a near 5-star rating on Amazon, these will be your favorite items to wear in the office, during your commute, or to meditate for 10 minutes. They charge in the case fairly quickly and easily connect to your devices via Bluetooth. In this latest model, you'll get 8GB of storage, a beautiful retina display and even touch ID lock important documents so even if your kids grab it, they can't access without your fingerprint. Did we mention it's less than 3 pounds and has up to 12 hours of battery life?
Ideal to throw in your bag when you're running from the office to play dates. Motherly is your daily momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this. A lot of attention is placed on trying to conceive and the nine months of pregnancy, but there's so much to think about when it comes to postpartum life.
We're talking about those few months right after baby arrives. Not exactly high fashion, but somehow we'd all matched! Dan began renting a little house from my husband and I in town, and when she moved in a few months later, we were happy. As the months passed, Dan and his girlfriend talked openly about marriage. One day when Dan came to visit, I asked him if he'd proposed yet. He cracked a goofy grin. Dan confessed that he planned to ask her at Disneyland, on the castle bridge outside Fantasyland.
I called his dad right away and we decided to purchase the theme park tickets for them. Dan's 24th birthday was coming up anyway. It seemed like the perfect gift. After the engagement, things started to change. Dan's future in-laws seemed pleased about their upcoming marriage and began making formal plans for the wedding. When we did, I began to sense that Dan was comparing our family to hers. Once, he made a comment that her family had always had their children in sports.
Then he said he doubted I had known anything about "the whole kids' sports thing. What he said that day stunned me. I didn't correct him, but it was something his dad and I talked about later. The beginning of the end took place about two weeks before their wedding. One afternoon, I called Dan to discuss some of the details. I mentioned that the Big Day was coming up pretty quickly and asked him if he was certain about the marriage. Since they were so young, it was a natural question to ask.
My husband and I have been married for over 35 years. We both had first marriages that didn't work out, and we'd felt pressured into those vows. Dan knew that. When he responded, "Yes, I'm sure.
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I'm marrying her," I felt good about it. We laughed and chit-chatted some more. Everything was fine, or so I thought. A few days later, Dan called again and I found out things weren't fine at all. It was close to midnight when the phone rang, and I grabbed it fast. My husband was sick and had just settled down to sleep and I was afraid it would wake him.
I honestly don't remember most of what was said in that conversation, but thinking about it now still puts my stomach in knots. At first I was so shocked that I didn't even reply. Dan came back on and said something about me being unfriendly at the bridal shower the month before. I was stunned. Hearing his accusation hurt, and Dan knew me better than that. My husband and I were in disbelief. How could a person you've loved your whole life act that way?
The next few days were spent in a sort of waiting mode, just trying to keep busy. When Dan did call again, it wasn't to apologize or explain. He called to confirm that we wouldn't be at the wedding. When he said he was just confirming that we would not be at the wedding, and that they needed to know for "the plates," tears slid down my cheeks. I was his mother, diminished to a number on a catering order. After that, I had no choice but to call our relatives who'd been invited and try to explain why we were no longer going to Dan's wedding.
Of course there were questions: "What happened? There were a couple relatives who immediately rallied and said, "Something's going on. Do you think she wants him all to herself? And my thought was, I don't know, but I'm not going to say anything bad about anybody. The two weeks between that phone call and the wedding, I walked around in the daze. Every time the phone rang, my heart would jump. I would think: It's got to be him. This can't be happening. He's going to call. But when it wasn't him, there was also a sense of relief. He had been so cold, and I couldn't bear the thought of hearing that cold tone in his voice again.
I did tell his siblings, "You could probably still go to the wedding if you want.
Since we had already ordered Greek food, Dan's favorite, for the rehearsal dinner, we decided to have a couple extended family members over to eat with us the night before the wedding. The day of the wedding was very sad. I think we all woke up that morning thinking that Dan would surely call and make things right. But he didn't.